Back by popular demand–wait, that’s a lie. No one has demanded this at all. So, back because I just can’t stop myself, are a few more limericks to help us learn the plot of the whole Bible. If you missed out on Part 1, be sure to check it out here!
Pharaoh had the slaves making bricks,
But God was working the fix
He called Mo from the flame
And life was never the same–
As you see in Heston’s great flicks.
Moses stood before Egypt’s Pharaoh
And demanded that he “let them go.”
God tore the sea into two
And the Egyptians did rue
Their decision to chase down old Mo.
For forty days Mo was gone from the crowd,
And their whining got really quite loud.
When Mo came back with the law,
He couldn’t believe what he saw
For Aaron had made a gold cow.
When they could see the land over yonder,
The chance to go in they did squander
At the report they rebelled,
Cried, whined, pouted and yelled;
So for forty more years they would wander.
The next gen was all done complainin’,
So Josh led the people to Canaan.
God made Jericho fall
When he brought down the wall,
And for the land they started campaignin’.
But Josh died and the people forgot
To pass down the commands as they ought.
So they did what was right
In their own wicked sight
And with failure Judges is fraught.
Then the people demanded a king–
For everyone else seemed to have such a thing!
So they picked out Saul,
Because he was handsome and tall,
But God chose from Jesse’s offspring.
So little Dave got anointed with oil,
And he brought King Saul’s blood to a boil.
But he was the man,
For whom God had a plan
That Dave’s line would forever be royal.
After David came Solomon wise
Who could see right through everyone’s lies
But he had a large flaw:
Marrying every woman he saw
And ending with seven hundred wives.
At the end of Solomon’s reign,
He said that everything’s vain!
And due to his sin
The first of his kin
Would see Israel divided in twain.
In the north the kings were all terrors.
Who never repented of their errors.
Evil idolaters all
To Assyria they’d be hauled.
And in the South it wasn’t really much fairer.
In Judah, all kings descended from old Dave
Through whose line would come the One who could save.
Some kings were quite evil,
So there was predicted upheaval.
As to Babylon they became slaves.
So God’s people are gone from the land
For their wickedness they have been banned.
You’ll just have to wait
To learn of their fate
And see just what God has planned.